Guys, sometimes you do things on social media that baffle and seriously infuriate the women in your life. Not sure what you could possibly be doing wrong? We’ve got your back. We asked women what social media moves men make that drive them totally insane.
Here, we reveal their answers, and chat with Daniel Post Senning, an Emily Post Institute spokesperson and author of Manners in a Digital World: Living Well Online, about ways to salvage a situation after you’ve screwed up.
The Complaint: “I cannot stand when guys are active. on Twitter and Facebook with their friends, but they never acknowledge their girlfriend’s electronic existence. Electronic displays of affection can really make a girl feel special.” —Jessica, 27, New Jersey
The Fix: Paw your way out of the dog house by reminding your significant other just how public social media is, suggests Senning. “Explain that your love life is something you like to keep private, which is why you’re active with your buddies on Facebook but don’t post love notes to her wall.” That reasoning should make sense to her.
The Complaint: “I cannot stand those shirtless Instagram selfies that guys take in their fluorescent-lit bathrooms. Is that supposed to entice me? Because it doesn’t.” —Sonia, 26, New York
The Fix: There’s no need to delete your old photos, but moving forward only post selfies that tell a story, advises Senning. Finally beat your personal squat-weight record? Write that as your caption so it doesn’t seem like you’re posting a gym selfie to just show off your muscles. Providing some context helps you look less self-indulgent, adds Senning.
The Complaint: “I talk to my boyfriend every day in person, so it totally irks me when I find out something major happened in his life by reading his Facebook wall. If a guy has something to share with the world, he should first tell his special lady and then loop in everybody else.” —Allison, 28, Rhode Island
The Fix: “Sharing big news with your significant other sends the message that she is part of your inner circle, which makes her feel special, explain Senning. “Keeping her in the dark creates tension and can be perceived as rude.” Apologize for not telling her your news firsthand, vow to never let it happen again, and follow through. This helps build intimacy and will ultimately help her to forgive your bad judgment call.
The Complaint: “I hate when guys (or anyone, really) complains all over Twitter and Facebook. It’s never a good sign if a guy spends his time being negative in such a public way.” —Alexandra, 25, New York
The Fix: While it’s OK to share a gripe from your workday once in a while, it’s more alluring to women if you try to connect with others by sharing positive experiences and interests, says Senning. Plus, posting about your awesome white waterOpens a New Window. rafting trip rather than your a-hole boss will likely help you connect with women who are into the same things. Over time, as you continue to portray a more positive attitude online, the ladies will likely forget that you were once such a Debbie Downer.
The Complaint: “The worst is when there’s just no response to a tweet or a Facebook message. Why can’t he just take a second to respond?” —Naomi, 24, Massachusetts
The Fix: “Not responding sends the message that you’re not interested and she should stop reaching out,” says Senning. If that’s your intention, fine, she will eventually get the hint. But if that’s not the case, you need to manage expectations or she’s going to get pissed. Saying something like, “Facebook was taking over my life so I’m trying not to log on as often. I apologize in advance if I don’t respond as much as I used to,” can do major damage control, explains Senning.