It’s a widely known, if seldom acknowledged, fact that pubic hair is very regional: The Pacific Northwest sprouts lots of happily hairy folks; Los Angeles breeds bare chests and hairless ladybits; and New Yorkers seem to split the difference (hairy chests, shaved nether regions). “For guys, I think the perpetual safe answer is to always trim everything,” says Tammy Nelson, Ph.D., author of Getting the Sex You Want. “Be comfortable so that you feel positive in your own body.”

But a word of wisdom, fellas: Shaving or plucking right before a date can puncture the skin and may make you more susceptible to STD transmission, so always groom at least 24 hours beforehand. If you have any grooming requests for her, do it without criticizing her body. “If you call attention to something that’s going to embarrass her, you’ll never see her again,” says Nelson. Instead, make your request both a compliment and a statement about your preference. Simply fill out this sentence, Mad Libs–style: “I really love your _______ [body part], and it really turned me on when we did ______, and I’m wondering what you’d think of trying _________