IT’S VIRTUALLY INEVITABLE: At some point you’re going to start seeing gray hairs. But it doesn’t have to be a bad thing.

Handling your new hair color the right way can mean the difference between “Rob’s a silver fox!” and “Rob looks…different.”

Here, we share what women really think about gray hair—what they like, and what they don’t—along with some do’s and don’ts for dyeing it, cutting it, and making it look as sexy and youthful as possible.

. Women expect guys to go gray as they approach 40 (and sometimes sooner)

There’s no one set age when those first white strands begin to sprout, but “genetics play a big role in how early and how much gray men will get,” says Rachael Thomas, senior colorist for Madison Reed, an online hair color company. “Typically, 30–40 seems to be the age range when most men start to notice their gray.” For that reason, if you’re sporting salt and pepper hair before (or around) age 30, you may feel it makes you look older prematurely.

2. We’re totally cool with you dyeing it

For whatever reason, a lot of guys are afraid to dye their grays. “Many men are nervous that it will look unnatural, or create the dreaded ‘shoe polish’ look,” says Thomas. Other guys are interested in getting rid of grays, but have spent a lifetime getting trims at a bro-focused barber shop and simply feel “a bit uncomfortable visiting a salon to get their color done,” Thomas says.

However you feel, remember: Women dye their hair, too, so we won’t fault you for wanting to keep the color you were born with. In fact, you just might end up with a gorgeous woman in the salon chair next to you—so it can be a win-win to book an appointment with a pro.