ROMANCE WAS CONFOUNDING even back in college, when every dude still had his hair and nobody had yet reproduced.

But now your world of available women includes moms—that is, the mother of other men’s children.

Dating has entered a new dimension, one with inscrutable small humans who control the damsels you want to save from distress.

Here’s what to do:

1. Get creative about sex

Your go/no-go window remains the third date, but the signals will be all new. You now have to schedule sex around a third-party: the tyke.

So, when she says her ex has him for the night, consider it excellent news. Note: This doesn’t mean sex will happen at her place. Your place not appealing? Get a maid. Better yet, get a room.

2. Make way for dimples

Let her tell you when you get to meet Potty Pants. My ex self-immolated when I joked about meeting his 6-year-old anytime before she was, say, old enough to drive. He slow-walked the intro since it reminded him his wife was never coming back and he was alone.

The timeline on real-life offspring will likely be age-dependent: Babies have no idea you exist. Teenagers can smell you from miles away. So follow Mom’s lead. And whether she calls you her BF or the plumber, just roll with it.