WHAT’S THE FIRST thing you notice about a woman after her smile and eyes, of course? If you answered honestly, it’s probably her breasts. That’s nothing to be ashamed of, but you know what is? You spend so much time ogling them in broad daylight and not enough time giving them the attention they deserve when the lights go low.

What I’m hearing from a lot of [women] is that men immediately go down south, because that’s where they get the most results,” says sexologist Stephen de Wit. “For a lot of women, breasts are an area of great pleasure, but it’s not an understood thing for men because we don’t have breasts—a lot of the information we learn is from the media and from porn.”

Sound about right? Before you go on an all-out Google frenzy, take a second to read this. We consulted with the best experts in the biz to create a step-by-step guide to pleasuring her boobs in the bedroom. Both your lady—and her ladies—will be satisfied with these nine simple steps.

1. Understand not all breasts are the same

“There’s not one specific tip that’s going to be good for every woman” says sex expert Lora Somoza. Just because something has worked with one partner in the past, that doesn’t mean the same will work for your next partner. “Some women want breast stimulation in the form of tender, soft teasing, and some want it rougher. You have to know your audience,” she adds.