Women aren’t as visual as men when it comes to getting turned on and unleashing their inhibitions. Odds are what your girl really wants in the bedroom isn’t happening. But that doesn’t mean it can’t. We asked women for their greatest sexual desires and got this unbelievable list of tips, tricks, techniques, and fantasies.

Read on to get the details—from the subtle stuff you may be forgetting to the secret ways she wants to get freaky. Then work on having her share the moves she’s dying for you to make in the bedroom. Trust us, your sex life together will never be the same. Brushing up on your foreplay skill is also a good idea, don’t forget the 7 steps to the best oral sex of her life.

1. “I love the idea of being picked up and kissed, touched, and groped against a wall before moving the party to the bed or floor. Or you can just pick me up and do me while standing, taking complete control over me. I’m getting excited just thinking about it.”—Kristin, 26

2. “I’m really surprised at how little men want to get ‘rough’ in bed. I really enjoy it when a man wraps his hands in all my thick, curly hair and pulls my head back, especially when he’s entering me from behind. After pulling my hair, I like it when he puts his hand on the front of my neck and pulls me into him—it’s such a turn-on!”—Jen, 28

3. “I’ve never been tied up before. I love the idea of just totally having to surrender to another person, trusting him with your body.”—Stephanie, 25

4. “As sappy as this sounds, the whole petals on the bed and candles all around thing? It’s so romantic, and romance is the ultimate turn-on.”—Amber, 22

5. “Instead of just taking our clothes off ourselves, I wish my guy would slowly remove mine and take in every inch of my naked body as he sees it. Feeling that he’s getting excited with every piece of clothing that comes off is so sensual—in fact, he should tell me just how excited he is every step of the way.”—Becca, 23

6. “Simple: I want him to stop an elevator and have me there. Hot!”—Kat, 29

7. “Every girl has a fantasy about a man in uniform. I would love to have someone dress up as a police officer, cuff me, search me thoroughly…and then get a little rough.”—Alicia, 31

8. “Make it all about me for once—massages, kissing me everywhere, teasing me, just making me feel good over and over again until I’m exhausted, then cuddling and falling asleep together. The next night, I’ll return the favor.”—Lindsay, 27

9. “This is my biggest fantasy, which I’m afraid to tell my boyfriend: I would love to have another woman in bed with us. I want to watch him get turned on as I pleasure her—and vice versa.”—Lisa, 24

10. “I like it when a man takes charge in the bedroom—when he tells me exactly what he wants me to do to pleasure him. It doesn’t have to be forceful, just simple, like when he pushes my hands over my head, or tells me to get on my knees. Half of my pleasure is pleasing him.”—Erin, 29

11. “I wish my man was more into having food in bed with us. I work hard to keep that flat stomach, and I love it when he licks cream or honey off of it!”—Ayana, 27

12. “I would like to be tied up to a headboard completely naked while he teases me with a feather on every sensitive part of my body. That light touch all over would feel absolutely electrifying.”—Felicia, 22

13. “Never forget the importance of kissing…for a very long time! Men fail to recognize what a turn-on it is for us.”—Rachel, 24

14. “Surprise me! Almost every woman’s fantasy is just to have a man that wants her so bad he picks her up, throws her down somewhere, rips off her clothes and has his way with her. We want you to want us so bad you just absolutely have to go for it. Spontaneous, passionate sex is so manly and sexy!”—Krystal, 30

15. “Most men are willing to go down but many don’t know how to truly take their time and please a woman. It’s fair to say most of us want to be treated like a dripping ice cream cone—like you’re enjoying every single minute of it.”—Michaela, 25