THE BOOTY CALL has evolved over time. A decade ago, men actually picked up the phone to charm the pants off a woman, hoping not to sound utterly desperate or obscene. With the advent of texting, though, things became less thought-out, more spontaneous, and (admittedly) decidedly less charming. Then apps like Instagram, with its sneaky direct message feature, and Snapchat, with its trashy allure for dick pics and ‘disappearing’ convos and pictures, threw things for a serious loop.
Point is: By now, modern-day booty calls have become a minefield of bad decisions and ignored come-ons. So, since you’re already being docked for reaching out late at night or during the wee hours of the morning when you’ve mostly had a few too many, why not employ some strategies that might actually elevate your odds of meeting up with a woman?
We asked 20 ladies to dish on the messages that almost always work or the ones they desperately wish guys would send. Take your pick and try your luck—just note you’ll more than likely have to have a stockpile of food and wine on-hand, or some good take-out restaurants handy.
“‘Wanna come over? I’ve got half a pizza and a bottle of wine with your name on it.” – Christina W.
“‘Weed, chocolate, and sex—come over.’” – Heather A.
“‘Let’s binge-watch old episodes of The Office. I bought wine.’” – Annie E.
“‘I’ve been thinking about you all week. Come over now?’” – Alex M.
“Something to do with him having an array of junk food waiting for me.” – Carly G.
“Hey, I bought three boxes of mac n’ cheese, and I can’t eat them without you. Come over.’” – Sam M.
“‘Chicken nuggets and chill?’” – Elizabeth J.
“I could go for something straightforward, like ‘I need you now. Come over?’ That would either be a win or it would piss me off, depending on our relationship status. Anything funny or something I have a personal connection to is also good, like ‘There’s an empty spot on the couch and I have Parks and Rec on.’ Anything that includes food and/or dogs is as good as it gets.” – Lauren M.
“‘Wanna come over? I made dinner and have your favorite wine.’” – Nicole G.
“I love when a guy booty calls me, but only if he’s sarcastic and funny about it. ‘Just got back from the bar and you’re not at my place? Strange.’” – Julia F.
“Say: ‘You can call me out for texting you late, but I’ve been thinking about you all day and would love to see you right now.’ Be honest. And don’t be a jerk. If I know you’re a decent human being, I won’t find it douchey or disrespectful.’” – Mollie G.
“I would respect a booty call if he included something about an inside joke we have. So if I told him previously how I’m obsessed with The Real Housewives, then he could be like ‘Please come over. I’ll even watch The Real Housewives with you.’ Not kidding. I would go.” – Caroline T.
“A successful booty call or text should be specific (i.e. don’t just say ‘Hey, let’s meet up’), actionable on the guy’s end (i.e. you’re not making me trek across a city), and not vulgar. We both know a late-night get-together can very well end in sex, but don’t be crude about it. A good example: ‘I know it’s late, and this is probably mildly annoying, but what if I come over with take-out and we watch finally catch up on Game of Thrones? I’ll even let you eat some of my pad Thai.'” – Marissa F.
“If it’s anything food-related, I’m in.” – Gabrielle D.